A Child, a Man, and a Grave
by Tarage
Summary: A child plays in a park, a man contemplates a loss, and a solemn grave stares into nothingness.


Well, I had a day where I had no internet connection, and only a laptop, so I wrote this. It isn't meant to be long or to be continued; just a oneshot. Enjoy.

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**A Child, a Man, and a Grave.**

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* * *

"Okay kids, its time to go home for today. Please gather your belongings, your parents should be here soon," a somewhat exhausted looking young woman said to the children running around in front of her.

"Hai!" the class said in unison. The rush to the coat closet was on.

Despite the chaos around her, Ms. Melanie seemed to relax at the situation. Another day was over, and she could go home to her favorite chair and a good book. It would be three more days before she had to return to the hoard of kindergarteners. 'At least this will give the janitors time to clean up the finger-painting they did on the walls' she sighed in her head. But the stained walls were not her concern, and she had been lucky enough to avoid most of the splatter.

"Melanie-Sensei?" a small voice broke her from her trance, Are you okay?"

"Oh don't mind me Aoi-chan. I'm just worn out, nothing major." She turned to look towards the classroom door. "Is your father still not here?"

"I don't think so," Aoi said with a sniffle.

"Well don?t you worry Aoi-chan. I'm sure he is just running a little late." 'And my job isn't over quite yet,' she mused to herself. 'It's never that easy.'

The pair walked over to a near by bench sitting under a large cherry tree in full bloom, the pride of the campus. Pink pedals seemed to dance in the air as they fell gracefully to the ground. Ms. Melanie always loved this time of year, as it was one of the rare chances she had to enjoy what little was left of spring. Though she would never admit it, this was why she passed up the job she was offered in Kyoto. That and she had grown rather attached to this small town.

"Goodbye Melanie-Sensei!" a little boy yelled from across the street before getting into a faded mini-van.

"Ichiro-kun, I want you to make sure you practice your alphabet for next time, or I will have to have you stay after again," she replied. Ichiro was not the most focused child, but he did not want to spend any more time in class than was absolutely nessary, much to Ms. Mellany's delight. Though threatened, she hadn't had to enforce such a punishment yet in the year.

"Bye-bye Ichi-kun!" Aoi waved as hard as her little arm could muster. Ms. Melanie suspected that Aoi had a crush on him. But with all children her age, this was a fleeting thing. She would be fawning after some other embarrassed boy in a few weeks. The cycle of little girls chasing disgusted little boys was far from ending.

"So Aoi-chan, what are you going to do this weekend?"

"Well, I'm going to go see mommy again," Aoi said with a shy grin.

Ms. Melanie knew not to continue the small talk in the direction, for it would only end badly. She was saved by the sight of a man in a blue jacket and black pants approaching from the parking lot. "It looks like your father is here. Have a safe trip home Aoi-chan."

"Arigato Sensei!" Aoi exclaimed as she ran towards her father with arms flailing. This was her favorite part of the day. All of her worries melted as soon as she looked into his dark blue eyes and warm smile.

"How was your day honey?" the man questioned, seemingly genuinely interested in his daughter's activities while he was away.

"We got to finger-paint! But Ken-kun tried to get me to play battle again..."

"I'll have to tell his father that he needs to stop taking Kensuke Jr. to those war reenactments all the time," her father sighed, knowing how hard it was to get the man to have self restraint.

* * *

Aoi squirmed in her seat as they drove down the road. She never did like being strapped in so tightly, but her father was very insistent on the matter. He was so overprotective of her, and she hated it. He, however, never seemed to notice his daughter's protests, and did the same act every day. "Daddy will never let up" she sulked.

"Aoi-chan, would you like to go to the park today?" her father asked without taking his concentration off of the road. "I'll help you build a sand-castle again."

"Can we? Oh boy!" Aoi cheered, as all ill thoughts puffed out of her head. Somehow, he could always invoke this reaction in her. It was a talent he held alone.

"Sure, I got off work early for just this reason."

"I love you daddy!"

"I love you too, but we have to make sure you don't get too much dirt on your dress. It took me all day to clean it the last time," he sighed, knowing that no matter how many times he told her, she would always end up filthy by the time they were finished. It didn't stop him from mentioning it every chance he got. Habits are hard to break.

"But daddy..." Aoi groaned, tugging lightly at her clothes, "if I didn't have to wear these things, I could have more fun!"

'She takes after her mother so much...' he beamed. Thoughts of her came flooding into his mind so fast he almost missed the turn. This happened too often for his own good.

The honking of the car he cut off was completely ignored as they circled the park to find a parking space. Nothing could bring down his mood today, not even road rage. Today he was going to do his most favorite activity; playing with his pride and joy. Aoi echoed his sentiment as the two skipped towards the swings.

* * *

"Daddy?" Aoi looked up from the sand pyramid they were building.

"Yes Aoi-chan?" he turned his gaze towards her.

"How come I can never come to see you at work?"

The question struck him as odd. Aoi had never showed any concern for his work in the past, and he didn't have a problem with keeping his professional life separate from his family life.

"Well," he struggled to come up with an explanation that she would understand, "my work is very important. Many people depend on your daddy to help the sick. I help people who can't walk or do other physical tasks by giving them the ability.

"But why can't I come see you help people?" Aoi was not about to give up this line of questioning with such a simple answer, much to his regret.

"The work I do is very... hard, and it takes a lot of work to help those people. First you have to map each nerve set so that we can pinpoint which connections aren't responding. It's a very involved process that can sometimes take hours with our current processing power. This can put quite a strain on the patent, and some aren't exactly comfortable sitting in the plug for such long periods of time. I know I wasn't during all of those god awful tests when Ritsu-" he cut himself off when he realized the blank stare of his daughter. "I did it again, too much techno babble?"

"Anyway, it's very important that I try to keep my office as professional as possible. If I had to worry about what you were doing, I wouldn't be able to give them my complete concentration. You see?"

She glared at him for making the assumption that she was hard to control. He flinched at the familiar piercing look she had learned long before she could walk.

"Erm... and I want you to get a good education. Missing class won't help you become the next great scientist," he gloated to himself about what a nice save that was.

"But I don't wanna become a scientist! I want to be an astronaut!" He always surprised him with her extensive vocabulary. She was far from an ordinary kindergartener; she could go far in life.

"Well, then you need to study extra hard! Astronauts need to know how to count backwards from 10 too."

"Aw daddy!" she once again fumed. "That's kids stuff! I'll show you how easy that is. Ten, nine, eight, six, five, four, three, two, one, BLASTOFF!" she motioned to the sky with her hands, taking a short leap out onto the grass.

'She forgot seven...' he noted while smiling at his daughters endless energy. 'She may be smart for her age, but she still slips up every now and then. It's good to know she is human.' He couldn't help but stare at her with such admiration as she did her best impression of a moon walk.

* * *

The day was far from over as the duo explored the nearby forest. There was simply no better place for a game of hide and go seek. Though the parent in him was nervous she would get lost in the tangle of foliage, he knew that it was far better for her to have a somewhat more normal childhood that he had. Though he did wish that she hadn't taken after her tomboy mother.

"97, 98, 99, 100! Ready or not, here I come, Aoi-chan!" He heard a small giggle from a bush a few yards away, but decided to let her 'outsmart' him for a while. It's every father's job to build their children?s self esteem as much as possible, he told himself. Flashes of an abandoned sobbing child in a stripped shirt that seemed far too big and a man in a black suit escaping his parental duties haunted his memories, only serving to solidify his resolve to change this outcome. "If only her mother was..." he whispered under his breath. Now was not the time to get emotional.

He cautiously peered around a tree not too far from the bush to give the impression that he was genuinely lost amongst the giants. More giggling followed as he jumped around only to find thin air.

He knew this was the expression she loved best, and he readily provided every time they played.

It took him about an hour, after going over many of the same places twice, before he snuck around and caught her, eliciting a squeal that echoed throughout the woods.

* * *

The sun was low on the horizon when the daughter and father relinquished the park to the startup hum street lights. Though her head was filled with pleasant new memories of another day with her favorite play-mate, his was in a much darker place. He hated this time of day, and the memories it spurred. The giant black golem stomping a path of destruction to his feet, a bathtub with a frail woman inside with a pool of red by her wrist, but mostly a memory of more recent times caused him the most dread.

"Daddy?" Aoi asked with concern in her voice.

"Uh, yes dear?" he asked, somehow expecting the question before it was to be asked.

"Can we go see mommy now?"

"Yes, I think its time to see mommy," his voice almost emotionless in his response.

The return ride in the car was far more silent than the previous trip. Aoi was tired from her afternoon play, and he was contemplating how he would handle the upcoming situation. It isn't to say he feared what would happen next, but that it weighed heavy on his soul. A simple request from his doting daughter removed the veil of certainty around him. Now, the only think he seemed to be able to control was the steering wheel.

He blinked as they drove though heavy iron gates with the most heavenly wings carved into the pillars. 'Appropriate' he mused and looked for a place to stop. Their destination was on top of a large hill overlooking the ocean. Her favorite spot, and the place he had proposed to her. He could still remember the vision of white with red wafting in the breeze. How happy he had been when he took her hand into his and delicately pushed the band of gold onto her slender finger. Surrounded by his best friends and surrogate family, it had been the happiest day in his life. He wished for every day to be as wonderful as that day, but such was an impossibility. Life was not so kind.

He walked with his eyes on the ground; not looking towards the girl who held his hand and filled him with such warmth that only a parent could feel. He brought forth images of his wife in agony, squeezing as hard as she could on the same hand. The maternal glow sweeping around them and the sparkle in her eyes as she pushed forth a life so small yet so exuberant that they both ended up weeping was unforgettable. There is little in this world that can compare to watching your own flesh and blood join make her presence known with a deafening cry. He also felt like he was being born, and tried to picture the look in his mother's eyes when she held him for the first time. He even saw his father watching over him with pride, something lost long ago.

And then there was the day this hill changed into something else entirely. He hadn't thought about it much on that day, but he did now. As if the view was tainted by an unknown presence, he was not looking forward to cresting to the top. A single stone block ruptured the surrounding earth, it's polish glinting in the sun. Aoi took no time in running up to it and rubbing the edges with her tiny hands. He took his time, however, not wishing to rush his sorrow.

Aoi was already chatting away to the stone, talking about the fun day she had spent with her father, and the latest boy of her interest. Words seemed to come easy from this child, just as her mother before her. She was hardly ever shy about anything, and was not old enough to fully understand the object she was speaking so friendly with. She knew the basics, but the details had been spared. She would find out the truth one day, and have her own pain to endure.

Aoi's voice trailed off as she felt a hand on her shoulder, letting her know it was time to say goodbye again. She hated this part, but knew that her father was having a much harder time. She decided to leave him to his memories and go chase a nearby butterfly.

For quite some time, he stood without speaking. The words bounced around in his head, but refused to come out of his mouth; only small choked gasps escaped. He knew eventually he would need to get his grief off of his chest, but time, he thought, might make things easier.

"Hello... dear."

He almost expected a response, but knew the stone grave would speak no words to him. He lost the chance to talk to her many years ago.

"I guess Aoi told you about what happened today, and I feel greedy for allowing myself to be lost in joy."

A single tear splashed onto the 'Ikari' etched elegantly into the marble. He noticed and fell to his knees.

"I didn't think I would miss you as much as I do, but I guess a lot has changed since we were kids. I got to know the girl behind the mask, and learned to love her. There is not a day that goes by that I wished you could be here to see little Aoi grow up."

He picked himself up, trying desperately not to appear weak in front of her. He knew how much she hated him that way, and tried to maintain his composure, at least in front of her. There would be time to cry later.

"I know you would have been a wonderful part of Aoi's life, and mine as well. I still remember you standing there; dressed in all white, your eyes were never brighter. So full they gave me hope. You gave me hope that the future my father helped engineer wouldn't be so bad."

Aoi fell into the grass, letting out a whimper he cringed at. He wanted to run over to her and hug her, but he couldn't pull his gaze away. He continued without a pause.

"I still haven't told her the truth about you. She is too young to understand what happened, and I am too weak to try to explain it to her. I know you hate this side of me, but I can?t help it."

He faintly heard his name being called from far away. The voice made him cringe, and he ignored it.

"The way you wasted away in front of my eyes, the way your eyes became dull, you never got to see her grow. I guess that is my greatest regret."

"..ji." Once again, the voice was ignored.

"I loved you in a way I couldn't love anyone else. You became my family, and I never regretted getting so close. I'll survive through the pain for you. It is the least I can do for your help bringing Aoi into this world. She brings joy to my life in ways I can't describe. But she doesn't remember you enough..."

"S...ji!"

"Why couldn't you be here? why couldn't she grow up knowing her-"

"Shinji!"

Aoi stopped playing with her long red hair and turned around to run towards her father. All she could hear was a faint "I miss you."

* * *

Shinji stood over the woman lying before him, weakly staring back into his storm cloud eyes. They were red from irritation and dripping with tears. She did not speak up to protest, saving her strength to take the memory with her to the afterlife.

"...you can't do this to me! You can't leave me alone like this! Not after all we have been through!"

She did not move her head, but he could tell she was sympathetic to what her loss would do to her.

"Aoi... she needs to know you! She needs to know her-" a hand placed on his quivering mouth stopped him dead in his tracks.

"You... know I will be watching over her... over you..." she said with a low voice that reverberated in his ears. "I... was so happy to... know you... to love you..."

"NO!" the volume even shocked him. "I already know. Please... you have to hold on. I don't think I can go on without you."

"You will... I know you will... I am leaving you in good hands," she turned her gaze to the woman standing behind him, with an emotionless gaze. Though they had never really gotten along, she felt like she could trust the woman to take care of her Shinji.

"She loves you just as much as I do... though she rarely admits it..."

"No... please..."

"Shinji... I don't want to hold on like this forever. I don't want to be seen like this?"

"You shouldn't worry like that... I don't care how you look. you can't be replaced!"

"Yes, I can."

"No! Please!"

"Can you do this selfish girl one more favor?"

He was bawling now. He fell to his knees before her bed, looking as hard as he could at her face; a face that would soon be nothing but a memory.

"Anything, anything..."

"Shinji... love."

The rain outside went unnoticed, as a soul departed for the great beyond. A unique soul that only recently found its place in life. Perhaps a soul too good for the broken world that gave it birth. But to Shinji, it was another cruel irony.

To finally understand someone, to love someone, and then to lose them, was the greatest irony he could imagine.

* * *

"Shinji, its time to come home," the woman behind him solemnly said behind him. She hadn?t changed much since accepting the duty of keeping Shinji sane, the task she accepted on that rainy day.

"I guess you're right," he responded coolly. He wasn't in the mood for much of anything, let along a lengthy discussion about his loss.

"You guess?"

"Y-yes?"

"Shinji, what have I told you about being spineless?"

Shinji spun around, responding to the voice that had been calling to him, now full of life again.

"I'm sorry honey, you know what she meant to me."

"And it is in that respect that I won?t allow you to be so weak. What would little Aoi say?"

Aoi hugged the woman close, giving herself to the warmth.

"I wish you didn't know me so well."

"Well, I could say the same about you sometimes. Come on, she wants you to live, and I don't intend to let her down." She shot him a glare that Aoi had emulated so easily earlier.

"I wish you wouldn't do that in front of her," he motioned down to Aoi. "She used that look on me today."

The woman burst out in laughter and hugged the girl close. Shinji began laughing himself, and soon they were all enjoying the joke.

As soon as she composed herself again, she placed her hand on the girl's fiery red hair. "Aoi-chan, you should save that look for special occasions. I only use if on your father when he is reverting back to his old self," she winked at her. Aoi mimicked the smile and giggled.

Shinji was taken back at how similar they looked. It was uncanny, and he was glad she managed to also have his deep blue eyes. "I get lost in the lighter pair too much as is."

"Come on Shinji, let?' go home. You still have to cook us dinner."

"Yeah! I want hamburgers tonight!" Aoi bounced. "Come on, I'll race you to the car."

"A race eh? You haven?t beaten me- HEY!" the woman began to chase after her, not letting the girl get too much of a head start.

Shinji smiled at the pair running down the hill. "Hey, wait for me! Asuka!"

"You're still too slow Shinji! I don?t know why I married you."

"Daddy is too slow mommy!"

Once again the valley below the hill was filled with laughter. The sun seemed to follow them, illuminating their path. It's rays also shown down on the small marble grave at the top of the hill, adding a glow to the simple phrase on the monument. Shinji's tears filled the engraved letters.

'Here lies Rei Ikari. Sister, Aunt, Friend, Human.'

* * *

A/N: So what do you think? This is my second story, but probably should have been my first. Was it an okay story? I assume it confused a lot of you until the end... I hope anyway. Thanks again to darkshayde and redshadow for adding to my ego and correcting things for me. One of these days I'll repay you... No Omake this time. Leave me comments and reviews please!


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